Black Bloody Friday!

Gordon Bennett, I’ve had enough of Britain’s attempt at Black Friday nonsense already and the date isn’t even here yet.

Why have we even got Black Friday here anyway? Asda brought it to the UK a few years ago (aren’t they the UK sister of Wal-Mart in the States?) and everyone went nuts for cheap TVs and DVD players and smacked each other round the chops to get hold of stuff and caused a right old scene? I’m glad Asda’s had the sense to get rid of it this year. Good call!

Nonsense!

Nonsense!

Black Friday comes the day after Thanksgiving in the USA. We don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK, so why the foofing heck have we got Black Friday?

“What’s this all about anyway?” asked a British friend of mine.

“Well,” replied I, avec my British tongue firmly in cheek, “Americans get together on the Thursday and say how thankful and grateful for all that they have, and then the next day they go out and buy loads of crap they don’t need.” 🙂

Halloween and Bonfire Night

I don’t care what some of my British friends say, Halloween ain’t NUFFINK like it is in the States. Not a patch on it. As Harry declared sadly, ‘It’s not like in America.’

Case in point:

America

America

Britain

Britain

I am sad to report that we did not do Bonfire Night/Guy Fawkes night this year, despite it being Harry’s first memorable one. I blame the rain. There was loads of it.

However, Harry’s learned all about it: ‘Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parly-ament and now we burn him to death every year.’

🙂

Waitrose coffee – a revelation!

Waitrose is, dear American friends, the most middle class of all our British supermarkets. When I returned to this very country I was told with much glee by my Brit chums that Waitrose give away ‘free coffee’! To needy middle class people!

Amazing.

Still, I thought it would be rude not to partake. But I did the American thing and walked around the shop with mine, to many disapproving British middle class looks. ‘You should have got a tea and sat down with it, That’s the thing to do’ said my chums. Nah. I wanted to create an interesting juxtaposition of cultural wotnot. It worked.

Walking round the store wiv me coffee. God forbid!!

Walking round the store wiv me coffee. God forbid!!

Off to get one now!

Cheers dudes!

England, we don’t need Black Friday

Oh my, I thought we Brits could queue. Apparently not. The onslaught of Black Friday across the pond proved this.

Black Friday is a tradition we don’t need back in the UK. We honestly don’t. It’s related to Thanksgiving, Brits. It’s the day after.

This is how it works in America: Thursday, you give thanks for all that you have. Friday, you go out and buy stuff because you actually think you don’t have enough and were lying a little bit when you gave thanks on Thursday.

This happened. In England.

This happened. In England.

We don’t need this riotous, greedy behaviour! Shame on us! We already are having Boxing Day as a day of sales, when we really need it to be a lovely day of walking and playing games and eating cold meats and pickles.

This is the social media sphere blowing up about Black Friday in the UK.

#BlackFriday has come to Britain and it looks like hell on earthhttp://t.co/Oj6ympMu6b https://t.co/ueBfDID0Kp

@BuzzFeedUK @BuzzFeed I’d like to apologize to the rest of the world on behalf of the entire nation of America