Cultural Discombobulation Innit!

verb (used with object), discombobulated, discombobulating.

1. to confuse or disconcert; upset; frustrate:

As in ‘The British expat was completely discombobulated by the return to her own country.’
Yep, that is me right now. It’s been a crazy return already, and I haven’t stopped because tomorrow I start work and there is sooooo much to do!
So, this is what’s occurring, in no particular order:
1. My cats are well happy to be back. They’re looking at me with big yellow ‘thank you’ eyes.
Happy cat!

Happy cat!

2. Harry is super happy to be back too. He loves our little house and our little cabin in our garden and he doesn’t care how small they are because they are his. He also has no idea what a radiator is. So much to learn.
3. I did not know how to fill up with gas (ugh, I mean petrol!) at a British petrol station and had to phone my mum to ask her. Britain, let’s do the pay at pump machines more – it’s so much quicker and prevents me from having to go into the garage shop and buying Cadbury’s Buttons as well. Yes, folks, REAL chocolate!
4. Fish and chips taste like they should do, but they don’t come in paper. Sad news.
No paper, folks

No paper, folks

5. I feel like Gulliver in Lilliput. At first I thought someone had shrunk my house, after all that big American stuff I was used to. Forty eight hours later it just feels normal.
6. People in England are much friendlier than I remembered! Everyone’s so helpful and smiley. Who’d have thunk it? 🙂
7. Some people appear to be disappointed that I haven’t picked up an American accent. I am not Joss Stone FFS!
8. The Gloucestershire accent is making me smile. It’s so bloody West Country – oohaarr!
9. I have only got into the wrong side of the car once. I have yet to drive on the wrong side!
10. Traffic lights. There are lots of them and it sucks that you can’t turn left on red. This needs to happen, Britain!
11. My parents are amazing. They’ve totally helped me out massively!
12. I can’t find any of my Boots or Sainsbury’s or Tesco’s rewards cards and it’s doing my head in. I need my points!
13. I think I appreciate the higgledy piggledy joy of England a little more today than I did yesterday. It will grow on me.
My garden needs some TLC!

My garden needs some TLC!

Cheers y’all! Onwards with the cultural challenges!

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